December 2011
145 posts
Depression is not an act. Eating disorders aren't...
If you had endless amounts of money what would you...
Garrett: I'd make an underwater house.
Jared: Oh my gosh! I'd have a space house.
Garrett: No! I want to do that.
Jared: Well you can, we can visit.
Garrett: Ya know how they're gonna make the elevator into space? The bottom should be my house, and the top will be your house and we can elevator up and down all day.
Jared: Thanks.
Garrett: Thank you for letting me go to your house. I'm so excited.
Vote "The Maine" for best album of the year and... →
mum: you think these bands have nice hair and fashion now but in 20 years you will look back at these photos and be like-
me: look children it's your father
mum: what
me: what
Biology Teacher: So the sperm is surrounded with glucose
student: you mean semen is like sugar?
Biology Teacher: yeah basically
me: doesn't taste like..
Biology Teacher:
me:
student:
Biology Teacher:
me:
student:
me: whoops
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“I want to see you again.” He stopped, took her face in his hands. “I need to see you again.” Her pulse jumped, as if it had nothing to do with the rest of her. “Roarke, what’s going on here?” “Lieutenant.” He leaned forward, touched his lips to hers. “indications are we’re having a romance.”
-Naked in Death
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“Women are the worst. They zero in on some guy.Oh boy, he’s the one, gotta get me that one. So they do. Then they spend the rest of their time trying to figure out how to change him. Then if they manage it, they’re not all that interested anymore, because guess what? He’s not the one anymore.”
JD Robb
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“Eve: What is it about asking you Catholic questions that gets you all jumpy? Roarke: You’d be jumpy, too, if I asked you things that make you feel the hot breath of hell at your back. Eve: You’re not going to hell. Roarke: Oh, and have you got some inside intel on that? Eve: You married a cop…you married me. I’m your goddamn salvation.”
Salvation in Death
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“I know you love me, but I don’t know why. I look at you and I just can’t get why it’s me. Every time I get my balance, I lose it again. Because it shouldn’t be me, and I think it’d kill me if you ever figured that out.”
-Eve
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“No. No, I don’t believe you’d betray me with her. I don’t believe you’d cheat on me. But I’m afraid, and I’m sick in my heart that you might look at her, then at me. And regret.”
-Eve
Innocent in Death, JD Robb
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Eve: She completely eye-fucked you.
Roarke: I know. I feel so cheap and used.
Eve: Shit. You got off on it. Men always do.
Roarke: True enough, which is why we are so often cheap and used.
Kindred in Death
In third grade: Learn cursive you will use it for the rest of your life
Middle School: Write in cursive if you want, but make sure it's readable
High School: Please don't write in cursive
College: If you do not type it I will not grade your paper
And in the end, nothing was resolved except for the feelings I thought I had for you.
Girl in crowd: I LOVE YOU!
Garrett: *points at John* I think that was meant for him...
Girl in crowd: NO! It's meant for you I swear!! I love you!
Garrett: I love you too....are we dating now?
Girl in crowd: YESSSS!
But he's more of an item than a person...
Garrett: Alright, this next question's from Marcy and she asks 'If you were stuck in a desert island, what one person alive or dead would you bring?' And I would bring Tom Hanks. You know why? Because he was in Castaway and--
Pat: A movie?! That's not real.
Garrett: And he survived and he grew a big beard and a mullet and he...survived.
Pat: Um, I would bring Garrett because he's like my bestie. (laughs)
Garrett: Best...Oh God.
Pat: He's my BFF for L.
Garrett: But we would die!
Pat: ...It's fine, at least we die together.
Garrett: Aw, high five!
(They high five)
Garrett: Yeah, I'd bring Pat too. But he's more of an item than a person, so...
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